WHAT IS MEDIATION?

Who can come?

You don’t have to be married to use the service.

Family Mediation assists people (including same sex couples) at any stage of separation or divorce to negotiate their financial and/or parenting arrangements. It can also help other family members such as grandparents to talk about contact with children.

We will use ‘couple’ and ‘former partner’ throughout this website for ease of explanation, but please remember that mediation can help these other people too.

How do we start?

Although mediation helps couples to work together in making arrangements, we know that for most people, communication is very difficult – that is why they need help!

So we encourage people to ring us and make an appointment for themselves so that we can have an individual meeting and consider together what is the best way of contacting the other person and encouraging them to have an appointment too.

Tell me more about the first appointment

This session is always free for each person.

We can see people alone or together, but there will always be a part of the appointment that is for you on your own.

We find that many people prefer to come on their own for this session because it helps them to get things clear, to explain how they feel and what they are concerned about, as well as what issues they need sorting out. We will tell you more about mediation in the appointment, as well as look at other options for working out your problems, and helping you decide which is best.

We will always do an assessment to see if you are eligible for legal help, so you will need to bring some papers with you (see FAQ’s), and we will also talk to you both about violence, intimidation or harassment which might make mediation unsuitable for you.

Do I have to come?

Some people have to attend the initial intake session so that they can be assessed for Public Funding for working with a solicitor even though they are sure that Mediation would not be appropriate. We will always check with you before contacting your former partner. Mediation is not right for every separating couple, and is a process voluntarily entered into.

If your former partner has already contacted us and we have now written to you, you can choose whether to come to the initial meeting or not. If you choose not to come your former partner can still apply for Public Funding to work with a solicitor around sorting out the differences between you.

Voluntary

Consulting children

Children do not have a responsibility for making decisions about their future but they may have concerns, feelings or views that parents would like to know about. Sometimes it may be helpful for a mediator to help a child communicate these ideas so that parents can take them into account before making decisions. Often children will already have talked to their parents about these things.

Your mediator will ask you if your child would like an individual appointment (free) so that the child can tell you some things about how they are feeling, or things they might want you to know but haven’t said to you directly. This is always an opportunity, rather than something which every family wants to happen, but many parents and children have found it extremely helpful.

We need the express permission of both parents for this to take place, and feedback is only given if the child agrees this.

There is a page on this website for parents, about how children often feel and behave at this difficult time. There is also a page for children.

What happens when mediation is finished?

Over 70% of couples each year reach agreement using mediation.

At the end of mediation we will draw up a “Statement of Outcome” (for child only mediation) or a “Memorandum of Understanding” for AIM. This writes out the terms of your agreement so that your solicitor can then apply for a consent order if necessary, or complete any other necessary legal work. Look at the section about ‘Without Prejudice’ in the FAQ’s for more information about this.